Wherein I Am Not So Different

* just a note - in my previous post, I meant by "I can Pee and Shit like a normal person" that my toilet was fixed and that I wouldn't have to run half a kilometre to take a dump anymore, not that there was anything wrong with me physically that would have made me unable to attend to my sanitation needs *

I had a strange dream - rather out of character and also a little late. In it, I was back in my old army unit, and I screamed at some evil female clerks (I could tell they were evil in the dream, they wore flowing costumes that were inefficient and silly) who were trying to slack off, and they were suitably cowed. A peer expressed his admiration for my guts, and I beamed with pride over my asserted manliness.

Then I woke up, my drool leaking down my mouth.

I've never had a dream where I was aggressive. In fact, I've never been one to be aggressive (except to my family, and only in a rather sublimal and passive manner) and I have never ever shouted at anyone in the army. I just tended to speak rather quietly, review in my head the rules I had been given for being a GOOD LEADER and suck it up the best I could.

Of course, it makes me wonder if I am no different from the actively-aggressive types like Seet and Nick, who pursue bloody (and most ugly) activities like capoeira (the cha-cha is just a dance - capoeira isn't). After all, deep down the same impulses to cause hurt are still there, and I can even recall the intense feelings of satisfaction as the evil-office-ladies (oh who am I kidding. They weren't evil. They were dressed as Chang2 Er2) starting blubbing. I also remember telling myself to keep up the range of volumes and tones so as to keep them on their toes.

It was the most poetic dressing-down I've ever given.

Urgh. Scolding office ladies? Fawning peers? I have deep seated repressed emotional issues, don't I?